So... The show was pretty much the best thing ever. I didn't get to meet John Oliver (or Rory Albanese, who was also there), but I did ask them a question at the end of the show, so I did get to speak to them. And they spoke back to me. And I was kind of an idiot. A charming and lovely idiot who they seemed happy to talk to. :P

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The show was in Kirksville, MO at Truman State University. It's about 5 hours from us and around 3 from St. Louis.

The drive up was v. good. I got to see parts of Missouri that I never had before and we were careful not to spend any money on unnecessary things... We bought gum, but that was very necessary.

We kept passing signs for Redmon's Candy Factory, which is in Phillipsburg, Missouri. They have this cartoon "boy" on all of their signs. He looks like a grown man dressed as a boy... He looks like a pedophile trying to lure you to his "Candy Factory". Creeeeeepy.

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We got to the hotel early enough to eat something, relax a bit, take a shower, and get all gussied up. Look at these sexy bitches...

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Drove to Truman State on Normal St, which crossed a Halliburton Drive (which made us laugh). We were first in line to get through the doors and took an aisle seat in the fourth row. The wait wasn't too long, which was good, as there was a man sitting behind us who was incredibly obnoxious. He was an older guy and kept making comments about young people with their piercings and things. At one point, four people came in (two girls and two guys) and sat down in the front row. Then they changed their mind about sitting so close and decided to move. The man behind us said, "Look at that! That right there is exactly what's wrong with boys today. They sat in that row because the blonde girl told them too. And then they moved... because the blonde girl told them to. Real men don't let women tell them what to do."

Fortunately, they started playing Ben Folds' Rockin' The Suburbs album around that point and I didn't have to hear him anymore. :P

Then the show started... A kid came out and read some announcements and then began to announce "the first comedian tonight." We didn't know there was a first comedian, but as soon as he said "two-time Emmy-winning producer," we knew... HOLY FUCK. IT'S RORY ALBANESE! And it was. And it was awesome.

He came out talking about food in the Midwest (which has an unnecessary covering of butter and/or cheese, no matter what it is). And apparently, someone told them that Kirksville was near Kansas City, which it really isn't. It is closer to St. Louis. They flew into Kansas City and had to rent a car to drive nearly four hours. They were looking through the book of cars at the rental place and ended up with a red Mustang, because they are boys. The woman behind the counter asked them if John would be driving, to which Rory said no immediately. "An Englishman driving a Mustang in the middle of Missouri? NO!"

What else... Oh! In the middle of his set, Rory saw a Japanese water beetle on the floor (he thought it was a ladybug). He stopped mid-sentence, bent down, and in the sweetest voice ever, squealed "Oh! A ladybug!" When someone pointed out that it was a Japanese water beetle and that they bite, he backed away really fast and then bowed to it. The rest of the time, he kept commenting on how he couldn't bring himself to kill the bug. At one point, he said that John should do it. "A Brit killing a beetle in America?" TEEHEE.

He told this fantastic story about being drunk in London and going to a McDonalds. He and his friends were being obnoxious - doing their best impressions of Englishmen. Rory had a pickle for a monocle and french fries shoved in his mouth to represent bad English teeth. When a woman came up to him and said that he was the reason Americans have a bad name overseas, he said, "This is McDonalds. We're on American soil."

God, he was fantastic. And he kept slipping into "The American" voice that he does on The Bugle. God, I love him.

John Oliver was up next. I have no pictures from any of this because I wanted to watch without distractions, but he looked like this...

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Those are the clothes that he was wearing. His hair is longer now.

After giving us his Queen Mum "Helllooo," he asked, "Where the fuck are we?" It was a fair question.

I wish my memory was better - He did his Kenya joke. He talked about getting his medical for his green card. It was word for word what he said on The Bugle about it this week... but so much more charming and funny in person.

He also talked a bit about the drive he and Rory had taken. They had seen a sign in a front yard that just said "JESUS" on it. I don't think he'd ever seen anything like that before.

When he was talking about his green card and how much he likes it in the US (which is apparently a lot), he mentioned Daniel Kitson (who he just called "his friend Dan") giving him a teddy bear that had one of those recorded voice messages he could hear when he squeezed it. The message was something like "You are going to die alone in a dark room." During that, he also mentioned Demetri Martin, saying that he was the only friend he had in America when he first moved here and that, while Demetri is good at crosswords, you don't want him to be your sole emotional support.

At one point, he mentioned Australia. A guy in the back gave a "Woo hoo!" which surprised John. This guy was a researcher at the school and is Australian. John seemed so pleased to have this unexpected Aussie in the middle of nowhere... I think if he could have stopped the show for a few minutes and had a conversation, he would have. He practically did. It was adorable.

Have I mentioned yet that nearly everything John did was adorable? It really was. He is fantastic looking in person. Also, he kept looking at [livejournal.com profile] nivcharayahel and I during his act. I tried not to be too aware of how ridiculous I look when I laugh. It must not have been terrible, as he kept looking at me anyway.

What else? Ummm... He talked about guns. He mentioned he and Riggle and Albanese at the shooting range in Las Vegas ("When you pull the trigger, don't be afraid to yell 'Get some!'") and made some comment that lead much of the audience to applaud in a way that said YES WE OWN GUNS (he might have asked :P). There was a guy in the front that he started talking to... It was very "Really? You have a gun?" Suddenly, John jumped back in fright and surprise. Apparently, the guy had put his arm down in a way that made it look like he might be going for his gun to show it off. John looked genuinely startled.

There was heel clicking. I should mention that. I love the heel clicking. And there was a Galileo joke. We all laughed really hard at it and then he chided us for being such nerds that we got his Galileo joke.

There was a very short Q&A at the end. I think there were only six questions. I asked the second one... I asked Rory when he was going to be on The Bugle again. He and John both took a bit of a moment and looked a bit surprised. Then Rory said, "How do you know that I'm the American?" And because I'm so very cool and my brain is ALWAYS in tact, I stuttered out a "Because I... do?" John explained The Bugle and Rory did some of his lines as The American to sort of let the audience know what the fuck I was talking about. Then Rory said not to tell anyone that he's The American and I said, "It's on Wikipedia, I think." :P

In retrospect, they did not answer my question.

The other questions... I don't entirely remember. Someone asked if John had really broken his nose. Someone else asked if they would be doing any segments "like the John King one" soon. There was an interesting question about doing political satire in England (about the things you are legally allowed to say and do with that sort of comedy). And someone asked whether or not John McCain is a friend of the show. Rory said yes with a shrug.

After the Q&A, John and Rory challenged each other to an "Ice Ice Baby" battle. They wanted to see if they could get through the song, so both of them were up there rapping. It was fantastic... and Rory won. They both got stalled on verse two, but Rory pulled it out. :P

When the show was done, [livejournal.com profile] nivcharayahel and I decided to wait outside near another group of people who were waiting to see John and Rory. It turned out that they were all going in for an official meet and greet. We thought about waiting for them to leave... We could see their rental car in the parking lot near ours, but thought standing near it would be way too stalkerish. Plus, we were pretty tired at this point. And I had spoken with them anyway. So we went back to the hotel, but not before I stole a sign for the show off of a campus bulletin board...

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(Someone help me. Which 70s/80s rock band is that the font for?)

And now we're in St. Louis. The drive was good. We stopped at a Wal-mart, had some lunch at a Country Kitchen, and now we're just kicking back. We're probably just spending tonight in the hotel and then tomorrow... the zoo! There will be pictures.

One last thing... We had a random conversation in the car about phrases that are repeats. For example: Ramen noodles (noodle noodles), ATM machine, PIN number, Panera bread (bread bread). Right after, we passed a sign for Cappuccino's Coffee Cafe, which would be "Coffee Coffee Coffee Shop." DING DING DING We have a winner. :D
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