Yay! I'm home from the greatest day of my life and I can't even begin to tell this story. [livejournal.com profile] chelsea_doll and I had a great...no, the greatest time! I have been crying off and on ever since I had the extreme pleasure of meeting Ted Allen from Queer Eye for the first/second time. I'm not going to go into heavy detail, because it was so personal and life-changing that I just can't even say it...

First, some history. I have actually said that being gay is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I hate that I felt that way, but I did. I felt so shameful. When I first saw Queer Eye, that didn't necessarily change. Not completely, anyway. I still felt awkward, but I was so much more comfortable with the thought of coming out. Because of the show, I did come out...and it has been so wonderful. I've only had one bad reaction to it, thank God. But even after that, I felt a little odd about the whole thing. I never felt comfortable as a gay person because I don't look like any of the lesbians I see on TV, in movies, in magazines. I'm not a stereotype, and I started wishing that I could be. Then, Ted did The John McMullen Show. He was talking about stereotypically gay music and how it is so not his thing. He was saying that it really bothers him in general sometimes that all of Carson's references are so overwhelmingly GAY. Something about that interview and some other interviews he has done really spoke to me. It made me feel that I can be who I am and be gay and there is nothing shameful about that. I don't have to pressure myself to fit some kind of pre-existing design.

When I found out about Ted coming to California, it became important to me to find a way to tell him that. I made him a mix CD, in the spirit of our shared music geekery. It seemed fitting, since it was his connection to music that connected me to his message. On the inside, I wrote a short note that I won't post here, but it is the equivolent of that last paragraph. I was worried I wouldn't be able to say it in person, and I wasn't able to say it...so great thing I wrote the note.

Song list below...in case anyone is curious about which songs were on the CD... )

Day One: Shame. Just more shame. )

Day Two: Chelsea and I are redeemed! And I cry like a little bitch. )

The picture: Scruffy!Ted is teh hot! )

Thus ends the longest post of my life. Sorry for the rambling! I'm pretty sure I said up there somewhere I wasn't going have detailed squee. Oops.....well. I didn't tell it all. I told it most.
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